I think it’s natural that we question ourselves a lot. We question what we are doing and why we are doing it. We question whether we’re happy or not, fulfilled, living to our maximum and probably everything else. I’ve been questioning my role in life, what was I born to do? What does God want of me? When I’m drained and not buzzing is it because I’m in a place I’m not meant to be or just on a learning curve?
When I’m buzzing, things happen, when I’m at camps and teaching and with like minded people I am on the edge, my brain kicks in, I become articulate and passionate and talkative and caring, I seem to connect with people and want to connect with people. I’m living the dream, I feel alive, I feel God has put me in this place and I love it. I wonder sometimes why I’m not like that all the time. I think sometimes that it’s because I buzz at events but ordinary mundane day to day stuff destroys me. Maybe that’s right but I’m beginning to see that maybe I’ve put the wrong people into certain aspects of my life. Maybe when I don’t buzz it’s because I don’t feel like I should be there, don’t think these people are on the same wavelength as me.
So what do I do? Do I listen to everyone who say it’s my fault and I don’t try hard enough or do I actually begin to understand me and that it is possible for me to buzz all the time I just need to be in the right environments and maybe that’s the clincher.
When you dip, when you question your faith and purpose and God’s will for your life who have you got around you? What do you really believe? What do you love to do? Who are you listening to? I find that for a while I listen to God but sometimes I start to listen to others and God’s voice becomes lost in a multitude of opinions.
Maybe God is teaching me to listen to Him and nobody else. Trusted friends’ opinions are good but when they put a wall up between you and God they’re very bad.
I’m not saying that if you’re not buzzing get rid of your friends and stop what you’re doing and do something else. I’m saying that we need to know our role, to be grounded in God, to follow Him. When we feel cold and isolated ask God why, pray like a trooper. It could be God teaching us to rely on Him or it could be God pushing us to do something more.
My thoughts are flying out of me in chunks, I don’t think it’s pretty but I know that I want God to move and inspire and challenge others but first off I know that God needs to inspire and challenge me.
I think the 'buzz' can come from social aspects, being in a unified atmosphere, like minded people with aligned goals all focused together, much the same as in the stands of a football match.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure people need to buzz all the time, just because you're not buzzing at that moment doesn't mean anythings wrong, maybe the dynamic is just different.
The mind needs to rest, quieter times can give you that, giving you the energy to 'buzz' again when the time calls for it