unHiNgeD

Is there any sense in becoming something you’re not?

I’m convinced there are many people out there who are fake, who aren’t themselves, who have been driven into a corner and forced to believe the lie, forced to become what everybody else thinks they should be. Driven by society, pigeon holed, living a lie. I think I’m one of those people.

It’s hit me lately that I’m becoming what I’ve feared the most, civilised, normal. I know that’s not me, I’m a little unstable, I think differently, I shake things up, I was born to be me.

It’s not easy being surrounded by normality, by ambition, by formality and tradition. maybe it’s wrong to be surrounded by it.

I’ve been thinking and feeling that i need to break away, that I need to begin to refuse to human voices and listen to God’s, listen and realise what I was created to be and I am convinced that I was definitely not created to be another nameless face in the crowd of normality and conformity.

I’m fed up with northern ireland, I’m fed up with a sickly sweet, self help, traditional, self absorbed Christianity that hits me up the face too much. Why am I fed up with it? Why does it make me so uncomfortable? It’s because I wasn’t made for that, I was created to live God’s way, to worship, to grow, to move, to be.

I’m feeling unhinged and at the minute i’m hanging on to normality but the more i think about it the more I understand that it is not my reality, I need to begin to listen to the real voice and maybe that voice is telling me to flip my world upside down and follow Him.

I’ve always said I want to change the world but who am I when i’m not myself? You are you, maybe it’s time to realise that, maybe it’s time to understand that when you feel uncomfortable it’s because you are uncomfortable, that something doesn’t sit with your spirit. don’t accept the norm, don’t accept other peoples’ dreams, don’t walk with a society that doesn’t know where it’s walking and don’t walk with a church just because it’s a nice thing to do. walk with God, follow Jesus, maybe it’s time to get a little unhinged, to let go of our defences and let god do something in our lives more than what’s happening now.

Jesus gave a diverse personality group like the disciples the chances to live the way they were created to, they could’ve just lived the way society always had, but He ripped their lives apart and many of those guys changed the world. Just a thought.